Truth? Or just me?

Seems like I haven't been opening up my eyes very much since work has started. I have been observing so many things around me, except this one thing. Is it my fault? Or is it just what has to happen? I can't figure it out. Sitting behind in the lorry makes me really ponder what's happening. The driver can be the driver, but I can't seem to be the driver. I guess what has to happen has to happen.

Am I changing back to the old self I used to be? I don't remember you(1) doing what you(1) said to me before. I remember too many things which I shouldn't. Why say things when you(1) don't remember them? Why do I remember things which I won't be able to get?

It has started once again, just like before in school. you(2) always avoid me during bad times and only be around during good times. Now that you(2) have finally experienced the same thing before, why can't you(2) just don't be like last time? Do you(2) know that I'm always hoping that you(2)'ll just remember how we went through so much together, me sharing with you(2) so many many things, but you don't seem to have a heart. Is this a sign that I should really really move on and don't cling onto old ties anymore? You(2) know I don't like good weather friends, but you(2) always just rather be a good weather friend, cause it's so so so much easier.

Can I just hear from you(2) once? I remember you(2) always avoided me when I was in a bad mood even after I told you that what I need is not solitude, but just you(2) being there.

I have used too much I's nowadays I guess but it's getting more of an I affair rather than a we already. Who can I put into the we? Shall wait until you(2) or you(1)... Either or both, I'll just wait. Unless GOD tells me otherwise...

I wait... wait...